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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24277069">Realizations</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lesbian_Valkyrie/pseuds/Lesbian_Valkyrie'>Lesbian_Valkyrie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Light Angst, Mentions of Tara/Willow - Freeform, Post-Season/Series 03, Season/Series 04, but also a lot of fluff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 00:47:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,069</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24277069</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lesbian_Valkyrie/pseuds/Lesbian_Valkyrie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The summer after Sunnydale High is destroyed, Buffy realizes something. This means that when Faith wakes up from her coma, things go pretty differently.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Faith Lehane/Buffy Summers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>136</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my first try at a multichapter fic, so feedback is much appreciated!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Now that the ascension was over, Buffy had plenty of time to think. And there was one person who kept crossing her mind. It wasn’t Angel. She had been upset when he left, of course, but after a few days, she was surprisingly fine. The person she couldn’t stop thinking about, was Faith.</p>
<p>She thought of their shared vision thing while they were both unconscious. Faith had helped her defeat the mayor, so clearly, she was good deep down. And Faith had told her to go take whatever she wanted from the apartment. Buffy leapt up from her bed, where she had been lying. Faith aside, she couldn’t let the cat starve. Buffy shouted to her mom that she was going over to Willow’s, and then quickly walked to Faith’s apartment.</p>
<p>It was a wreck. Buffy noted the broken window, and the discarded pack of Red Vines that Faith had been eating when Buffy barged in. She looked around and took in the scene. It was a mess. There were clothes strewn everywhere. Faith’s crossbow was placed very carefully on a shelf, alongside a large box of stakes and crosses. A video game controller lay discarded near a TV with a video game console. There were two empty cat bowls sitting on a tray, and a bag of food on a very tall shelf where the cat couldn’t jump. Buffy carefully got the bag down and filled one of the bowls. She then brought the other to the sink and filled it with water.</p>
<p>She noted a leather jacket draped across a chair. Buffy carefully picked it up and examined it. The jacket was slightly worn, but in very good condition still. It smelled like smoke, alcohol, and the soap Faith used. It wasn’t at all unusual that Buffy could identify the scent of Faith’s soap. It smelled like Faith. It was then that Buffy found herself thinking about how good Faith smelled, and how soft her hair always looked. She wanted to run her fingers through those long, dark waves of hair. She thought about Faith’s tight clothes, her tattoo, and her dark lipstick. She found herself thinking about how soft Faith’s lips had been against her forehead, and how Buffy longed to feel those lips on hers. She stopped herself and came to a sudden realization. She was in love with Faith.</p>
<p>There, sitting in Faith’s wrecked apartment and clutching her jacket, Buffy began to cry. She had screwed up big time when it came to the other slayer. If only Buffy could’ve been there for her. Buffy had loved her from the moment they met, she just hadn’t seen it. She was blinded by Angel coming back, and she ignored the pull towards Faith. She ignored the way her heart would beat fast when they would slay together, and the fast beating wasn’t from the slaying. It was because of the brunette who would walk beside her. She was so upset watching Faith and Angel kiss, but not really because she was jealous of Faith. It was more that she was jealous of Angel. She just hadn’t realized it.</p>
<p>Everything started to fall into place. The glances when one thought the other wasn’t looking, the subtle touches, flirty comments, and… Faith had asked her to Homecoming. Buffy had brushed it off as an attempt to be friendly. But there was also that fateful day when Faith had drawn a heart on her classroom window. The dancing. And Faith had asked her out to dinner. Maybe, just maybe, Faith had loved her too. But surely, whatever spark they might’ve had, was gone. Buffy just sobbed into Faith’s jacket. She had been so blind. She had let Faith get away. She missed her shot. It was so easy to get confused, given that the line between hate and love was so easily blurred. And the two of them had walked that line like a tightrope, not knowing which side they fell on. They had landed on hate. And it only took being so deep into hate, to make Buffy realize it was love all along.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After a long while, Buffy calmed down. A small grey cat had come and sat beside her. Buffy put on the coat that she was still clutching. She gathered some of Faith’s clothes, because they smelled like her, and put them in a bag. She took Faith’s crossbow. She’d keep it safe until Faith woke up. Because she would wake up. She had to. Right before she left, Buffy grabbed one of Faith’s dark lipsticks and slipped it into her pocket. After returning home and putting Faith’s things in her closet, Buffy left once again.</p>
<p>This time, she went to the hospital. The lady at the front desk was overly cheerful.</p>
<p>“Hi! How may I help you?” she chirped.</p>
<p>“I’m here to see someone. Faith…” Buffy paused, realizing she didn’t know Faith’s last name. She had never bothered to ask. “Uh. She was admitted last week. She’s in a coma,” Buffy continued.</p>
<p>“Well, we’ve only had one coma patient in the past week. So you must be here to see...” she typed something into her computer. “Yup! Faith Lehane. She’s in room 218, second floor, and the elevator is just down the hall. She hasn’t had any visitors. It’s very nice of you to come and see her. I’m just going to warn you, it’s unlikely she’ll wake up anytime soon. But coma patients can sometimes feel and hear the people with them. A comforting voice and presence will probably be good for her.”</p>
<p>Buffy murmured a word of thanks and made her way to the elevator.</p>
<p>When she entered Faith’s hospital room, the girl laying on the bed was almost unrecognizable. Faith looked more helpless and vulnerable than Buffy had ever seen her. Buffy had seen her when she first entered the coma, but she looked weaker now. But eerily peaceful at the same time. Her bruises were gone, and her face was clear of her usual makeup. She was hooked up to a few various machines, with needles stuck in her arm. The sight made Buffy want to cry again. Faith, the slayer, who played video games and danced without a care in the world, who wore leather jackets and loved greasy food, who was flirty, careless, fun, and always down for an adventure, whose last name was Lehane, was reduced to this helpless figure who couldn’t live without an IV. And it was Buffy’s fault.</p>
<p>She took the tube of lipstick out of the pocket of Faith’s jacket and placed it carefully on the table next to the bed, then she turned to leave, but not before gently placing a kiss on the forehead of the unconscious slayer in front of her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Buffy made a habit of returning to visit Faith once a week all summer long. She would sit in the chair besides Faith’s bed. She’d hold Faith's hand and tell her about the vampires she’d slain in the past week. She would bring fresh flowers and switch out the dead ones, so that when Faith woke up, she’d know that someone cared. And every week, before she left, Buffy would kiss her forehead and tell her she loved her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Faith woke up, she immediately ripped out the needles in her arm. She then turned to her bedside table, where there was a vase of slightly dead flowers, a tube of lipstick, and an envelope. She picked up and examined the lipstick, which she quickly recognized as one of her own. Then she picked up the envelope and pulled out a piece of paper. She couldn’t help but smile.</p>
<p>
  <em>Faith,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I’m so sorry for all the hurt I caused you. I know you probably won’t forgive me. I don’t have the words to tell you how sorry I am. I wish I had been there for you. I’ve realized something over the last few months. I love you. I think I loved you the moment I met you. But I just hadn’t realized it. Looking back though, the signs were so clear. So, when you wake up (I know you will), would you like to go out for dinner? Ribs, maybe? I’m just hoping that we didn’t miss our shot. Angel is long gone, and he’s not coming back. That relationship stopped working the second he lost his soul. I’m in college at UC Sunnydale, and I’m waiting for you. Please, come find me. I miss you.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>All my love,</em><br/>
<em>B</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>P.S. I brought your cat home and told my mom it was a stray. It took some begging, but I was allowed to keep her! I saved your crossbow too, I know how much you love that thing.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, this story was originally just a oneshot, but then I kept thinking about it, so I decided to go back and make it a longer multichapter fic. I'm planning on adding at least a couple more chapters.</p>
<p>Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Buffy was in a slump. Maybe she just wasn’t cut out for college. Or maybe her problems had more to do with the brunette, who lay alone in the hospital, in a seemingly never-ending coma. Her thoughts were constantly focused on Faith, so much so that she was having trouble in class. Even her slaying was a bit off.</p>
<p>She was walking to class when she noticed someone hanging a banner. She stopped to read the banner, which said “Lesbian Alliance”. </p>
<p>Buffy stopped and thought for a moment. Maybe going to a meeting with other girls who liked girls could be helpful. They might sort of understand her situation with Faith, even though she knew she couldn’t tell the whole story. Maybe they could help her out of her Faith-induced slump. She wasn’t a lesbian though, because she had loved Angel. But she knew she had feelings for Faith. So that could be enough for her to join the club.</p>
<p>She was contemplating her lesbian tendencies when the guy who had been hanging the banner turned to look at her. She recognized him as the TA from her psych class, Riley.</p>
<p>“Oh, yeah,” Riley started, noticing Buffy reading the banner, “I am a lesbian.”</p>
<p>“Hmm, yeah. Me too,” Buffy answered. She was about to correct herself, after all, she wasn’t really fully gay, but she decided against it. Her heart belonged to another woman at the moment, and that was all Riley needed to know. It wasn’t like he, or any guy, had a shot with her. At least not right now.</p>
<p>“Oh? I didn’t think, er, not that there’s anything wrong with that,” Riley stammered, clearly surprised.</p>
<p>Buffy smiled and shrugged apologetically. </p>
<p>“Well, cool. Good for you!” With that, Riley turned away and walked off, shaking his head.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>It didn’t take long for Willow to notice Buffy’s change in demeanor.</p>
<p>“Buffy, what’s wrong? You haven’t been yourself lately,” Willow asked her one day.</p>
<p>Buffy shrugged and looked back at her essay that she was supposed to be writing. The two girls were sitting in their dorm room. Buffy on her bed, and Willow at the desk. They were both supposed to be writing their psych essays, but Willow seized the opportunity to question Buffy.</p>
<p>“I mean, you don’t go out, you pretty much ignored that TA, Riley, when he was clearly interested in you, you disappear every Saturday, and I know you aren’t going home because your mom told me she hasn’t seen you in months, and where did you get that jacket? You’ve been wearing it a lot, and I’m pretty sure you didn’t use to.”</p>
<p>“Look, Will, I’m glad you care, but I’m seriously fine.” Buffy stood up to leave.</p>
<p>Willow quickly moved in front of the door. “See what I mean? You try to leave every time I try to get you to talk. You’re my best friend. Talk to me please.”</p>
<p>With that, Buffy resigned and sat back down on her bed.</p>
<p>Willow plopped down next to her.</p>
<p>“It’s just…” Buffy started. She stared into her lap.</p>
<p>Willow scooted closer. “You can tell me anything, Buff. I’m not gonna judge you.”</p>
<p>“It’s Faith,” Buffy sighed. “After that dream we shared, and after Angel left, I just couldn’t stop thinking about her. I feel terrible. It’s my fault she went to work with the mayor, my fault she’s in a coma. And it gave me all this time to think. I think maybe she loved me. And I think I loved her too. I think I still love her.” Buffy was crying.</p>
<p>Willow had a look of shock on her face. This was not what she had been expecting. But she had said she wouldn’t judge, so she tried to stick to that. She hugged Buffy as the blonde girl cried.</p>
<p>“She killed a man, Buffy. And she didn’t care. She kidnapped me and tried to kill you and Angel. She was a terrible influence. And she’s gone now. She’ll probably never wake up, so you have to move on.”</p>
<p>This just made Buffy cry harder. “Y-You can’t blame her for a-all that. None of us really tried to help her. And she’s gonna wake up, I can feel it. Sh-she has to. I can’t live with myself if she doesn’t,” Buffy said through tears.</p>
<p>“Wait, is this her jacket?”</p>
<p>Buffy nodded. “In the dream, she told me to go to her apartment and whatever I wanted was mine. It still smells like her.” She sniffed, though she wasn’t crying so hard anymore.</p>
<p>“Saturdays?”</p>
<p>“I go to visit her. Just to sit with her and bring her flowers.”</p>
<p>Willow sighed. “Look, I don’t like Faith. I get that it’s not all her fault, but she hurt all of us. I can’t forgive her just like that. But clearly, you really care about her. If - sorry, <em> when </em>she wakes up, I can try to meet her halfway. But what exactly is your plan? She’s not gonna be too happy when she wakes up from the coma that you put her in.”</p>
<p>Buffy looked like she was about to start crying again.</p>
<p>“Ok, ok, sorry.”</p>
<p>“I left her a note,” Buffy said quietly.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“A note. Saying I was sorry. And also kinda asking her out. For if she wakes up when I’m not there.”</p>
<p>Willow just sighed. Because her best friend had gone and left a love note for her crush who hated her and turned evil and who she tried to kill to feed to her formerly evil vampire-with-a-soul boyfriend, but instead wound up stabbing and putting her in a multiple month-long coma. Buffy was sometimes really stupid.</p>
<p>“Honestly,” Willow started, “What are the odds she’s gonna believe you? Faith kinda hates you, probably even more so now. You’re just not thinking logically, Buff. We can see if you still like her when she’s awake, but maybe you just like the thought of her, and not her as a person.”</p>
<p>With that, Buffy stood up. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you,” she said harshly. “You don’t get it. Admitting to myself that I’m in love with her was really hard for me. You think I don’t beat myself up every single day thinking about what I did to her? Even if it’s not love, I’ll do anything to make it all ok between us. This has been bothering me for a really long time! And here I thought you wouldn’t judge me.”</p>
<p>Buffy stormed out, slamming the door behind her, and leaving behind an exasperated Willow.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>For the next week, Buffy avoided Willow as much as possible. She was so hurt by her friend’s disapproval, and she hated to think that Willow had made some good points. She didn’t know what she’d do when Faith woke up, but she knew she had to try whatever she could to fix things. They had been friends once, maybe their friendship could be salvaged, if not something more. Buffy knew she had feelings for Faith, knew she had since the first time they met. She needed to talk to Faith again and figure out just how far she had fallen. She had said she’d wait. And she would. As long as it took. She was determined to fix things.</p>
<p>Buffy and Willow couldn’t avoid each other forever though. They didn’t talk during the classes they had together, and Willow slept in Tara’s dorm. Buffy was patrolling constantly, searching for Adam. Even though patrolling wasn’t the same as it had been with Faith by her side. Buffy could still feel her though, like a phantom limb. And that was enough to keep her focused.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Giles called an emergency Scooby meeting. He was worried about how stressed Buffy seemed, and the fact that she and Willow weren’t getting along.</p>
<p>Everyone was sitting in Giles’ living room discussing  Adam's possible power source. Buffy was sitting in an armchair and not looking at Willow, who was sitting next to Xander on the couch. Then the phone rang, interrupting Willow who was talking about possible ways to get into the Initiative. Giles picked up the phone.</p>
<p>“Um, yes she is,” he said. He held the phone out to Buffy. “It’s for you.”</p>
<p>Buffy carefully stood up and took the phone from Giles. The person on the other end said something about an emergency at the hospital. “Emergency?” Buffy asked, panicked, “What sort of emergency? Is she ok?”</p>
<p>Willow glanced at Xander, eyebrows raised.</p>
<p>“No, no. I haven’t. Ok, thank you.” Buffy hung up the phone, a look of shock on her face.</p>
<p>“What is it?” Giles questioned.</p>
<p>“It’s Faith. She’s awake. She beat someone up, took her clothes, and left the hospital. No one knows where she is,” Buffy responded slowly.</p>
<p>“Well, I guess she’s still the same violent, crazy, homicidal girl she was before,” Willow remarked.</p>
<p>“We have to find her! She needs help,” Buffy exclaimed.</p>
<p>“What do we do when we find her? Beat her up and hand her over to the police?” Xander asked.</p>
<p>“No, not the cops,” Buffy answered quickly. “They wouldn’t know what to do with her. Besides we don’t even know what she’s thinking or how she’s feeling. Maybe she’s hiding somewhere, terrified. She might not even remember anything, or maybe she remembers and she’s sorry. Either way, we need to find her before anyone else does. She can’t- I can’t lose her again.”</p>
<p>“Ok, but… That doesn’t tell us what to do when we find her,” Xander pointed out.</p>
<p>“We’ll just focus on finding her. Then we can kick her ass or do whatever it is we have to do,” Willow responded.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Later that evening, Buffy was almost ready for bed, when Willow came into the dorm. Willow hadn’t slept in their room since their fight. But putting her feelings towards Faith aside, she knew her best friend needed her.</p>
<p>“Hey. You ok?” Willow asked softly.</p>
<p>Buffy plopped down on her bed. She just shrugged.</p>
<p>“Look, I don’t like Faith. But I know you care about her. And it’s different now that she’s actually awake and you’ve got a shot with her. I’m not a terrible person, so I’m willing to help you. And her, but mostly you.”</p>
<p>“You think I’ve got a shot with her?” Buffy whispered.</p>
<p>“I don’t know. But she’s awake now, so you’ve got a better shot than you did when she was in a coma. And hey, maybe your note got through to her somehow. Admittedly she didn’t have the best start, what with the clothes stealing and all, but maybe she is different.”</p>
<p>Willow sat down next to Buffy and pulled her into a hug.</p>
<p>“I’ll do anything, Will. I just want her back. Even if I’m wrong and she never loved me, I want her to be good again, and to be my friend. I need to help her. It’s my fault she’s like this. I have to fix it. It’s only fair to her.”</p>
<p>“I know, Buffy. She’ll be ok. You’ll be ok.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The first thing Faith thought when she read Buffy’s note, was that it was a setup, a trap. After all, she had spent months dreaming about the girl she had loved, who had never cared about her, putting a knife into her stomach. Buffy must have figured out what Faith felt for her. About time to. It wasn’t like she had ever tried to hide it. She must’ve come up with some new way to mess with her. Well, Faith wasn’t gonna fall for that. She might be a high school dropout, but she wasn’t that stupid. She knew there was no way in hell or heaven that Buffy Summers was in love with her. </p>
<p>The only issue was the lipstick. It was Faith’s favorite. She knew Buffy had left it. What kind of messed up kidnapping plan was it to leave Faith’s favorite lipstick by her hospital bed, not even knowing if she would wake up? And the flowers. Someone had been bringing flowers. Often enough that they hadn’t been too dead. If Buffy and her friends were planning something, those small gestures really wouldn’t be necessary. They radiated kindness. But Faith wasn’t used to kindness. No, it couldn’t be genuine. As much as she wanted it to be.</p>
<p>But still, Buffy was the one who put her in the coma, and Faith couldn’t forget that. Buffy hated her. It was a trick. All a lie. But deep down, Faith clung desperately onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, it was true. Buffy was asking her on a date. Maybe it wasn’t a way to lure her right into the Scooby Gang’s master plan to have her locked up.</p>
<p>She had to know for sure. If there was even the slightest chance Buffy was being sincere, Faith needed to know. So she went to the first place she thought Buffy might be, Giles’ place. </p>
<p>Sure enough, she found the gang hanging around in the living room. Buffy was sitting in an armchair, and there was clear tension between her and Willow. They kept shooting each other strange looks. When she heard Buffy answer the phone, she knew it was the hospital. Faith considered sticking around to see what Buffy said about activating her master plan to break Faith’s heart, but she turned away. She wasn’t ready to hear it yet. She’d figure it out. But until then, she had to avoid being caught by Buffy or any of her friends. They’d find her, but only when she was ready to be found.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Faith wandered, trying to think of what to do next. Suddenly, a demon approached her, carrying a box.</p>
<p>“Faith?” the demon asked.</p>
<p>But before he could continue, Faith wrestled him and killed him easily. She then picked up the box and ran.</p>
<p>Breaking into the old store was easy. She had been given a tape. She popped it into the VCR player, and the mayor popped up on the screen. Faith smiled as she listened to his instructions. She knew exactly what she had to do, and how to use this to her advantage. It probably wasn't what the mayor was thinking of, but it would work.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Buffy and Willow were walking across campus, talking about Faith, again.</p>
<p>“Any sign of her on patrol?” Willow asked.</p>
<p>“Nope,” Buffy sighed, “I’ve been going out every night. No sign of Adam or Faith. She must’ve gotten the note, but clearly, she doesn’t want to talk yet.”</p>
<p>“Well, she can’t hide forever. Anyway, I gotta go meet Tara for lunch, I’ll see you later.”</p>
<p>Buffy nodded and turned to walk to her next class.</p>
<p>Willow was headed towards the cafeteria when she was yanked behind a tree by a strong arm. She caught her balance and found herself face to face with the brunette slayer.</p>
<p>“Faith!” she exclaimed, “Buffy’s been looking all over for you. Where-”</p>
<p>“Can it, Red. I know you’ve got a plan. Don’t know what it is, but I’ve gotta find out.”</p>
<p>With that, Faith grabbed Willow’s hand. A burst of light left her dazed, and looking at… herself? But before she could even begin to process what was happening, she was hit by a flying fist. She felt something being removed from her palm. The last thing she saw before passing out, was herself, putting something in her pocket and walking away calmly.<br/><br/></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Faith was relieved. Sure, Willow’s body didn’t have the slayer strength, but the redhead (well, brunette now) had been so confused, that she was knocked out easily, even with Faith’s stronger, more tolerant body.</p>
<p>Faith, in Willow’s body, turned and headed towards the building where she knew Buffy and Willow’s shared dorm room was located.</p>
<p>She dug through Willow’s bag until she found a key, which read “317, Stevenson”. Faith chuckled to herself. This was all too easy. </p>
<p>Using the key, she let herself into the dorm room. She looked around. It was easy to see which bed was Buffy's, and which was Willow's. The room was pretty clean. The bed that looked to be Buffy's was made, slightly haphazardly, while Willow's was made very carefully. At least they had both bothered to make their beds though. Faith knew she wouldn't have. Buffy's bed had a small stuffed pig on it, which was the most telling sign that it was hers. Faith walked over to the bed. There was a lamp on the bedside table and a few pictures. She took a closer look. There was a picture of a smiling Buffy, next to Willow and Xander, one of her and her mom, there was one of her and Giles. The last picture caught her eye though.</p>
<p>She picked it up to take a closer look. It was a picture of Buffy and Faith in the library. Faith's arm was draped over Buffy's shoulders, both of them were smiling. Buffy, she noticed, wasn't looking at the camera though. She was looking at Faith. She remembered when that picture was taken. It was the day that Xander had brought a camera to school and was obsessed with taking tons of pictures so that they could 'remember all the great high school moments', as he put it. Buffy, of course, responded that she couldn't wait to move on from high school. But that didn't stop her from humoring him and posing for a bunch of pictures. They had been training when Xander came in and told them to pose for a picture. As stupid as she thought it was, Faith did it because Buffy asked her to. She hadn't seen that picture since the day it was taken, but it was a pretty good one. What Faith didn't understand, was why it was framed on Buffy's bedside table. And why Buffy was smiling at her instead of the camera. </p>
<p>She wasn't going to think about it anymore, Faith told herself. She put the picture down and sat at the desk. Now, she just had to wait for Buffy to come back from class, and hope that Willow in Faith’s body didn’t wake up and find her first.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>About 40 minutes later, Buffy walked into the room.</p>
<p>“Oh, hey Willow,” Buffy said, surprised to see her friend back so early.</p>
<p>“Hey, B...uffy,” Faith said slowly. Buffy looked just as beautiful as she had all those months ago. Faith had seen her briefly through Giles’ window, but it was different being in the same room as her, so close that they could reach out and touch. Her blonde hair was tied back in a ponytail, and she was wearing a strangely familiar leather jacket. Faith nearly gasped when she realized the jacket was hers, but she managed to stop herself.</p>
<p>“I thought you were having lunch with Tara? I thought you said you wouldn’t be back for at least another hour?” Buffy questioned.</p>
<p>“Tara? Oh, yeah, Tara. She uh, wasn’t feeling well, so we moved it to tomorrow.”</p>
<p>“Oh, poor Tara. She seemed fine this morning. Anyway, since you’re back early, can you give me a hand with my English lit assignment?”</p>
<p>“Oh, umm, sure,” Faith responded. Internally, she groaned. She didn’t even finish high school. And why did Buffy’s best friend have to be some kind of genius? She needed to get her answers and get out of there before Buffy realized something was wrong. “So,” Faith started, “About Faith, What’s the plan?”</p>
<p>Buffy groaned, “Will, we’ve been over this. I know I didn’t think it through, but I’m telling you, it’ll work.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, but what are you going to do when you find her?”</p>
<p>“I’ll figure it out. I’ll try to talk to her. And maybe she’ll accept my invitation for a date. I don’t get why you’re asking me all this. You said it was fine.”</p>
<p>Faith blinked. The plan was fine? Buffy’s answers were pretty vague, but then again, so were Faith’s questions. She needed to ask a better, more specific, question. “Ok, so you manage to get her on a date, then what? Turn her in? I mean, it’s not like you’re in love with her or anything. You just want her to think you are.”</p>
<p>With that, Buffy began to raise her voice. “I know you told me my note was stupid, but I already told you, it’s real. I’m not going to turn her in. I have to help her. And yes, I do like her. I need to talk to her! I need to know if we’ve got a chance still, or if I completely blew it! Maybe she does hate me, but if there's any chance she doesn't, I need to know! How many times do I have to tell you this?”</p>
<p>“I...I don't think she hates you," Faith said softly. She was in shock. She wanted to say something else, but she didn't have the words. She swallowed and stood up, leaving the room without another word. And leaving behind a startled and annoyed Buffy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Meanwhile, a very confused Willow woke up under a tree. Her head hurt a bit. Maybe she had hit it somehow. She could have sworn that she saw herself running away. Faith was there, and then there was a flash of light. She reached up to rub her head but paused when she saw that the hand she had lifted, wasn’t her own. She looked down. These were not her clothes, and this was not her body. She ran a hand through her dark brown waves of hair. Dark brown waves?</p>
<p>“No,no,no,no…” Willow muttered to herself. She had no way to see her reflection, but she was pretty sure of what had happened. She was in Faith’s body. Which meant that Faith was in hers. This was very, very bad. And after Willow had agreed to give Faith a chance!</p>
<p>She stopped and thought for a moment. Faith could have taken her body anywhere. But likely, she’d gone after Buffy. Willow stood up and went towards their dorm, walking quicker than usual due to Faith's slayer speed.</p>
<p>She knocked on the door, hoping that Buffy was there.</p>
<p>Buffy opened the door. Her mouth dropped open when she saw who was standing there. “Faith!” she squealed, “I’ve been looking all over for you!” She moved to hug her.</p>
<p>Willow held up a hand. “I’m not Faith. It’s me. Willow.”</p>
<p>“Huh?”</p>
<p>Willow stepped into the room and closed the door behind them. “I think Faith stole my body. You probably don’t believe me. Um, I’m Willow. Your Jewish, witchy, best friend. I’m supposed to be at lunch with Tara. Oh, Tara! She must think I stood her up! But I bet she could help reverse whatever spell Faith put on us. Has Faith been here? Or, uh, have I been here?”</p>
<p>Buffy groaned as she realized what had happened. “Oh no,” she whispered.</p>
<p>“Buffy?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. Faith was here. As you. I thought it was you. She asked about Faith, er, herself. And she asked about a plan to capture her. She thought my note was fake! She thought I was playing her!”</p>
<p>“Well, I can’t blame her. I did warn you. But how’d she pull this off?” Willow asked, gesturing to Faith’s body.</p>
<p>“No idea. But she said I wasn’t in love with her, and I pretty much told her that she was wrong and I am! That’s not how I wanted this to go! I was thinking more along the lines of, she’d come and find me, we’d go out, maybe she’d kiss me, or I'd kiss her and we could live happily ever after! But noooo, she doesn’t believe me. She probably doesn’t feel the same. I read the signs all wrong! But she did say she didn't hate me. No, she's lying. How could she not hate me? I gotta talk to her. We’ve gotta find her.”</p>
<p>“I second that. The finding her part, I mean. I’m not sold on the whole fairy tale ending thing. I just want my body back.”</p>
<p>“Well, where would she have gone?”</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Faith sat on a bench in the park nearby, swinging her legs back and forth. She needed to undo this spell. Once she had her body back, she would get the hell out of Sunnydale. Willow would probably wake up and go after Buffy. It was only a matter of time before Buffy realized that she had been talking to Faith before. And then they would be looking for her. And then Buffy would know the truth. Not the whole truth just yet, but she knew that if Buffy tried to talk to her, it would all come spilling out. she'd wind up telling Buffy that she was in love with her, had been since they met. And now that it seemed like there was a chance that Buffy felt the same way, all Faith could think to do was run the other way. It scared her. She was scared of what this could mean.</p>
<p>She stood up and began to walk. She couldn’t face Buffy again, couldn't have that conversation, but she also couldn’t leave with Willow’s body. She needed her slayer strength back, otherwise, she’d be left practically defenseless. Plus, she figured she could at least partially fix this screw up by willingly giving Willow her body back. Not that it would help much. Besides, she had never been a fan of red hair, so she certainly didn’t want to be stuck with it for the rest of her life.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tara heard a knock at her door. She had gone back to her dorm after Willow had stood her up for lunch. She got up and opened the door to see two girls standing there. She recognized the blonde girl as Willow’s friend, Buffy, but she had no clue who the other girl was.</p>
<p>“Hi. You’re Tara, right? I’m Buffy,” the blonde girl held out a hand, which Tara shook carefully.</p>
<p>“W-w-what are y-you do-doing here?” Tara stuttered.</p>
<p>“Hey, Tara. It’s me Willow,” the brunette said.</p>
<p>Tara gave her a funny look.</p>
<p>“I’m so sorry I missed lunch. This crazy sorta-friend of Buffy’s woke up from a coma and switched our bodies. I was hoping you could help me fix it?” the girl said.</p>
<p>Tara raised her eyebrows. There was something off about this girl’s aura. She supposed that would make sense if she was actually Willow.</p>
<p>Willow noticed the hesitation on Tara’s face. “Uh, Buff, can I talk to Tara alone for a minute?”</p>
<p>Buffy shrugged and stepped away, allowing the two other girls to go into the room and close the door. Tara was admittedly hesitant to be shut in a room with a strange girl who claimed to be Willow, but she didn't argue.</p>
<p>“I didn’t want you to meet Buffy this way. I was hoping you could meet her soon. She really is cool. I haven’t told her anything about us, other than that you’re a friend from Wicca group who might be able to help. Faith, the girl whose body this is, couldn’t have gone too far yet. Please believe me. I really need your help. And maybe we can do lunch tomorrow?” </p>
<p>“Willow?” Tara questioned.</p>
<p>“Yes! It’s me!”</p>
<p>“A-alright, I believe you. I’ll help. I g-guess we should start with a locator spell.”</p>
<p>They called Buffy back into the room while Tara did the spell. It was a simple enough spell, and Tara had all the ingredients available in her room.</p>
<p>‘I-I just need, uh, s-something that belongs t-to the person we’re trying to l-locate,” Tara stuttered slightly. She was less nervous knowing that Willow was there, but she still didn’t really know Buffy.</p>
<p>Buffy blushed as she took off her jacket and handed it to Tara, who raised an eyebrow and gave a small smile.</p>
<p>It worked though. A glowing green dot appeared on the campus map, located right outside Stevenson Hall.</p>
<p>“Huh, I wonder why she’s still here,” Willow commented.</p>
<p>“Doesn’t matter. Let’s go,” Buffy replied, as she stood up from her position on the floor. She grabbed Faith’s jacket and slipped it back on as they left.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The three girls left the building to find Faith sitting on the steps. She stood up when she saw them coming.</p>
<p>“Faith!” Buffy called out. “Are you alright?”</p>
<p>“You know me, I’m five by five. Though I’d like my body back.”</p>
<p>Willow narrowed her eyes. “Yeah, me too,” she said sharply.</p>
<p>“Th-there’s a s-spell I could do, i-if you guys c-come back to my r-room,” Tara suggested.</p>
<p>“No need. I got the thingy that switched us right here. Should switch us back,” Faith replied, lifting her hand to show a small black device attached to her palm.</p>
<p>“We’re doing this right here? Surrounded by people?” Buffy squeaked.</p>
<p>Instead of answering, Faith took a step forward and grabbed Willow’s hand. A quick burst of light left both girls slightly dizzy. Faith, now in her own body again, quickly regained her balance. Before anyone could say anything, she took off running.</p>
<p>“Faith, stop!” she heard Buffy call. But she didn’t stop.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She ran for miles, running until she couldn’t run any longer. She collapsed in the middle of the sidewalk, panting, with tears in her eyes. She looked around and found that she was towards the outskirts of Sunnydale, near the train station.</p>
<p>Faith pulled herself together and walked over to the train schedule. There was a train leaving towards LA in the morning. It would be easy enough to stow away on a train. She figured she’d lay low for a couple of hours, and then head towards the city, where she could probably hide in plain sight. Easy as that.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Faith was gone before Buffy had even realized what had happened. She turned to see Tara helping Willow steady herself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I need to go after her! I have to talk to Giles. I’ll find her,” Buffy cried.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Seriously, Buffy? She stole my body! I said I’d give her a chance, and I did. But she blew it!” Willow exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She didn’t steal your body, she borrowed it. She brought it back without a fight. She needs help! And she just wanted to find out if we were luring her into a trap. It makes sense that she didn’t trust me! I probably would’ve done the same thing!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“When will you stop defending her? Just because you’ve got a crush on her doesn’t mean she’s in the right here!” Willow yelled. She covered her mouth with her hand as soon as the words left her mouth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy’s eyes widened. The yelling had stirred up a crowd.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh my god! Buffy, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Whatever. I’m going after Faith.” Buffy shook her head as if trying to forget what had just happened. She turned and walked away, leaving a guilty Willow standing next to a flustered looking Tara.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Giles, I need your help!” Buffy called out as she burst into his house.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, hello Buffy. Thank you for knocking.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry. I need your help. With Faith.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right. Well, why don’t you come and sit for a bit, explain the situation? You seem rather tense. Tea?” he offered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy shook her head and sat down on the couch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A minute later, the Englishman sat down next to Buffy, a cup of tea in his hands. “What seems to be the problem. Have you found Faith?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy launched into an explanation, telling Giles about the body-swapping and how Faith had run off after willingly swapping back. She left out the part about how Faith had only thought they were trying to trap her because of Buffy’s note, and how Willow had just outed her to Tara and a bunch of random students.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not sure I quite understand what led Faith to believe we were trying to trap her. We left her no sign that we wanted any trouble,” Giles mused.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy squirmed a bit in her seat. “Well… I sorta… left her a note,” Buffy explained.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Note? What for?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh, well. I left a note by her hospital bed sort of… asking her out?” Buffy turned away, blushing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Asking her out? I’m not sure I understand what you mean.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“On a date. See, last summer, I kinda realized that I… uh… I have a crush on her. I’m kinda in love with her. I think I was all of last year, it just took me a while to realize it. But now it’s too late, she didn’t believe me and she’s gone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Giles cleaned his glasses. “I see. I do believe I also understand why she felt it was a trap and was hesitant to believe you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But it wasn’t! Wait...why do you think she didn’t believe me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Buffy, are you actually so oblivious?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” Buffy gave him a confused look.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I do try to ignore all of your love lives, but even I couldn’t ignore what was going on last year. I know you were involved with Angel, but I find it hard to believe you didn’t notice.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy’s eyes widened. “Giles, what are you talking about? Notice what?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good Lord, must I spell it out for you? The way Faith would act around you, and how you would with her. It was impossible to miss. I must admit, before I found out about Angel, I was quite certain you and Faith had something of the romantic variety. And I must say, I wasn’t the only one. Why do you think your friends always hated you spending all your time with her? Angel knew too, that’s why he left I do believe.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I-I did love her back then I just didn’t know. But you knew? Everyone knew? How could you all know when I didn’t? And she loved me back? Later, when I realized, I thought maybe… but then I figured it was just wishful thinking. You think she loved me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know she loved you. And did figure you loved her as well. That’s why I wasn’t surprised when you reacted as you did when you heard she was awake. But also why I was so shocked to learn that you were still seeing Angel. It does explain why she sided with the mayor if you think about it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you think we missed our chance?” Buffy asked softly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not if you find her before she leaves. But do keep in mind, Faith likely doesn’t believe you love her, or that you ever did. You should be careful to not scare her away.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But I have no idea where she is.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Perhaps Willow would be willing to perform a locator spell?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, she’s still mad about the whole body-swap thing. I’ll find her myself.” Buffy stood up to leave.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Buffy,” Giles called to her as she was leaving. “Good luck.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With a smile, Buffy left Giles’ house and stepped into the late afternoon sunshine.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy began to walk. Where she was going, she wasn’t quite sure. And while she walked, she let her thoughts wander. She carefully considered what Giles had said. Could it be true? Had Faith felt the same as Buffy did? Could she still?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She and Faith had always had a slayer connection. They could feel each other in a way that Buffy couldn’t quite explain. Buffy allowed the connection to guide her, pull her in the direction of Faith. That connection led her across town, to a dark alley near the train station.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy began to walk down the alley, to see a figure sitting against the wall.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Faith?” she whispered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The figure jumped up. “How’d you find me? What do you want?” Faith snapped.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy took a tentative step forward. “I want to help you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah right, why would you want to help a screw up like me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Because I care about you. This isn’t your fault. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you before, but I want to be there for you now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t care about me! You don’t love me! You can’t! I’m bad!” Faith yelled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know you don’t trust me. But please, let me help.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With that, Faith lunged at Buffy. She hit her square in the jaw, taking Buffy by surprise.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy blocked her next hit. “I don’t want to fight you!” she cried.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Faith didn’t stop, leaving Buffy no choice but to defend herself. Soon enough, Buffy had Faith pinned against the wall.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m bad. Do it!” Faith yelled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy stepped back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just do it! Please, Buffy! Just do it! Just kill me! Please, just kill me! I’m bad! I’m disgusting and bad and evil! Kill me! Please…” Faith cried, tears streaming down her face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy stepped forward, wrapping the younger girl in her arms. They fell to the ground in a heap, but Buffy didn’t let go. “Shhh, it’s ok. I’m here. You’re gonna be ok. It’s alright,” she muttered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith let out a choked sob. Buffy pulled her closer, wrapping her arms tighter around her. Faith just cried harder, wrapped in Buffy’s embrace. Buffy stroked her hair gently, whispering calming words. She felt her heart break for the younger girl. She wanted to take away all her pain, grief, and guilt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sun was setting as the two slayers sat in the alley, Buffy holding Faith close as she cried.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, the sun is setting. Vampires might start showing up soon. Can I take you home?” Buffy asked gently after they had been there for a while. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith just shook her head, unable to speak.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come on, my mom always liked you. She’s been wanting to see you since we found out you were awake. We’ve got a spare bedroom. We’ll get you a fresh change of clothes, a shower, some food, and a bed to sleep in. Ok?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Reluctantly, Buffy let go of Faith and pulled her to her feet. Not letting go of the younger girl's hand, she led her out of the alley.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith didn’t say anything as they walked, but she didn’t pull her hand away or try to run off.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They reached Buffy’s house right as the sun dipped over the horizon. The door was open, meaning Joyce was home.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Mom!” Buffy called, once they were safely inside.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Joyce came from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a towel. “Oh, Faith is here! It’s good to see you, honey!” Joyce exclaimed cheerily. “I’ve just finished up dinner. I made pasta and there should be enough for both of you. Why don’t you get Faith some clothes so she can wash up before dinner?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith offered her a small smile. “Thanks, Ms.S,” she muttered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy took Faith’s hand again and dragged her up the stairs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t expect your mom to be so welcoming after the whole evil thing,” Faith said shyly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I explained it to her. That wasn’t your fault. See? She wants to help you. I want to help you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith looked away. She seemed a bit uncomfortable, but she wasn’t crying anymore.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy turned to her closet and pulled out a bag. “Uh, these are yours. I took them from your apartment. Cause you told me to take whatever I wanted. But I was mostly saving them for when you woke up. I knew you would. Oh, and the jacket. I’ve been wearing it, but you can have it back if you want.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy started to take the jacket off but was stopped by a hand on her arm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Keep it. It looks good on you,” Faith said softly. She took the bag from Buffy and looked through it until she found a tank top and a pair of boxer shorts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy handed her a towel and pointed her to the bathroom. Then she went downstairs to help her mother finish dinner.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey Sweetie,” Joyce said, as she heard Buffy enter the room, “I’m glad Faith is awake. I know you’ve been really worried about her.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As soon as she knew Faith was awake, Buffy had told her mom about how she was different now. Buffy wasn’t sure at the time, but she had hoped that the note had gotten through to Faith somehow. It turned out to be just as well that Buffy had confided in her a bit because now she was being pretty understanding about Buffy just coming home with an exhausted Faith. She hadn’t told her mom about the stuff from Faith’s apartment, or all the visits. Her mom didn’t need to know all about her daughter’s lesbian tendencies. Not yet anyway.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. Thank you so much for being so understanding about all this. She’s had it kinda rough. I need to help her,” Buffy explained.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I get it, honey. She can stay in the guest room for the time being.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And I think it might be a good idea for me to move back into my room for a while. To be here for her.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s a great idea. Now, why don’t you set the table.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy set the table quickly and then went to call Giles, who picked up on the third ring.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey Giles, it’s Buffy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, yes Buffy. Any news regarding Faith?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. I found her and brought her back here. Mom agreed to let her stay here for a while. She’s in the bathroom now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ok, good. Can you bring her by my place tomorrow so we may all discuss next steps?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just then Buffy heard a crash coming from the upstairs bathroom.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh, sure. I have to go. Bye!” Buffy said quickly. She hung up the phone and ran up the stairs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Faith, are you ok?” Buffy asked, knocking on the locked bathroom door. “Can I come in?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was no answer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ok, I’m coming in.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy threw open the door to find Faith in her fresh clothes, hair wet, with blood all over her hands. Pieces of the shattered bathroom mirror had fallen all around her. Her knuckles were bloody from where she had punched and broken the mirror. There was a piece of the mirror stuck in her leg, the blood trickling down to the floor. She was gripping the edges of the sink tightly staring at the destroyed mirror and panting heavily.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh my god, Faith!” Buffy cried out when she saw the bloody mess. She stepped into the bathroom, being careful to avoid the shards of the mirror. She placed a hand on Faith’s shoulder and turned her away from the mirror.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ok, we’re gonna get you cleaned up. C’mere, let’s go to my room and get my first aid kit,” Buffy said in a hushed voice. She guided the brunette out of the bathroom and down the hall.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you girls OK up there?” Joyce called up the stairs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, we’re fine, mom!” Buffy called back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She gently sat Faith down on the bed and found her first aid kit. Buffy took a damp towel and gently wiped the blood off of Faith’s arms and hands. She put some antibiotic ointment on her knuckles, which caused Faith to let out a sharp hiss of pain. Buffy then wrapped them with bandages. She kissed Faith’s knuckles, light as a feather, and then moved to wipe the blood off her leg. She removed the shard of mirror and slowly stitched up the deep cut. She’d been a slayer long enough to know how to stitch up cuts. When she was done with the stitches, Buffy covered them with a bandage.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You wanna tell me what happened?” Buffy asked, now that Faith was all bandaged up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith just shook her head and looked down at her lap.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ok. Do you want dinner?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“‘M not hungry,” Faith muttered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright. I’ll be right back.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy went downstairs and told her mom what had happened.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Faith broke the mirror and hurt her hands. She’s ok, but I think we’re just going to go to bed,” Buffy explained.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Joyce sighed. “Ok. I know you’ll take good care of her. You really are a good friend, Buffy.” She kissed the top of her daughter’s head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy rushed back upstairs, relieved to find Faith still sitting on her bed, now with a cat in her lap.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, that’s your cat! I mentioned she had been living here I think?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You did,” Faith said as she stroked the cat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You never told me what her name was, so I’ve been calling her Luna.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith let out a small laugh. “Close. Her name is Lucy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I explained to my mom what happened. Don’t worry, she’s not mad. I’m gonna go clean up the bathroom, ok? And then I’ll come right back.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith nodded.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When Buffy returned 10 minutes later, the cat was gone and Faith was standing, looking out Buffy’s window.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” Buffy said softly. “The guest bed is made if you want to stay there. Or you could stay here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy approached Faith to see that the girl was crying, her tears highlighted by the moonlight streaming through the window. Buffy stepped forward and reached up to cup her cheek. Her thumb gently wiped away a tear.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“God, Buffy. How can you stand to even look at me? I’m a monster,” Faith said quietly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re not a monster, Faith. You aren’t bad or disgusting. You’re beautiful. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. Is that why you broke the mirror?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith nodded slowly.”‘I can’t even stand to look at myself. And look at you. You’re everything that I’m not. Everything that I can’t be. You’re loved and treasured and I’m just...not. It’s ok though. I know I’ll never have what you have, I’ll never be what you are.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But you are, Faith. You’re incredible. Hasn’t anyone ever told you that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith shook her head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy leaned forward so that their foreheads were resting against each other. She still had one hand on Faith’s cheek, and the other was now holding Faith’s hand. “You’re amazing, beautiful, and strong. And I love you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith leaned forward and closed the small distance between them. Her lips barely brushed Buffy’s before she pulled away. Then Buffy kissed her. A little longer, a little deeper. It was only a few seconds, but those few seconds were the best in Faith’s entire life. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After they pulled away, Faith reached over and tucked a piece of hair behind Buffy’s ear. The two girls settled into Buffy’s bed, side by side. They fell asleep, wrapped in each other’s arms. Faith clung to Buffy like she was the only thing anchoring her down. And in a way, she was. While Buffy held Faith just as tight as if to keep her from drifting away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In their little pocket of warmth, it seemed like maybe everything would be alright.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy woke up first, to find Faith still snuggled in her arms. She thought about leaving, figuring Faith might freak out if she woke up cuddling with Buffy. Buffy ultimately decided to stay though. The younger girl needed comfort. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was when she was sleeping so peacefully, that Buffy realized just how young Faith was. She was only 17. Or maybe 18 now. Buffy didn’t actually know her birthday. It was strange how little Buffy knew about the girl in her arms. And it was there, watching Faith sleep, that Buffy realized there was truly no going back. She was in love. She knew she had been, but this was confirmation. And when they had kissed last night, it felt so right, so perfect.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was almost noon, but Faith was still asleep. They were supposed to be at Giles’ pretty soon, but given how exhausted Faith seemed, Buffy figured it would be better to reschedule. So she slowly let go of Faith and went downstairs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She called Giles and left a message saying that Faith needed a day off, asking to move the meeting to the next day.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy went back upstairs to see Faith now sitting up, staring into her lap.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hi,” Buffy said softly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith didn’t answer, but she did turn to look at Buffy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something inside Buffy broke when she saw the fear and pain in the younger girl's eyes. Faith looked so young, so vulnerable. And so broken.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy stepped forward and moved to sit on the bed next to Faith. The other slayer didn’t move away but instead rested her head on Buffy’s shoulder. Buffy soothingly rubbed Faith’s back. When Faith looked up, Buffy saw tears in her eyes. Buffy just wrapped Faith in her arms and held her close.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They stayed like that for a while, just Buffy holding Faith while she cried. Until eventually, Faith spoke.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh, Buffy. I’m sorry… about last night. I just- I was scared and you… well, you,” Faith trailed off a bit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re sorry for kissing me? Or....?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I’m not really sorry about that. I’m sorry about the mirror. And the fact that I cried like a baby. Don’t you dare tell anyone about that by the way. Or about how I’m crying again now and you’re holding me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy smirked. “Wouldn’t dream of it. And I already told you, don’t worry about the mirror.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith squirmed out of Buffy’s arms and sat up. “B? What exactly is this? It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that I don’t trust you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy looked at her and raised an eyebrow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, not like that. I don’t trust anyone. It has nothing to do with you. You’re the only person who’s ever actually tried to be my friend. And I kinda screwed you. I tried to blame you, I did everything wrong. So admittedly, I’m not sure that I believe you actually like me. I thought the note was a trap. I still kinda do.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Let me prove it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Huh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What I feel for you. It’s the realest thing I’ve ever felt. So let me take you on a date like I asked. If you stay that is. No skipping town or hitching a ride on a train.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith smiled. A true, genuine smile. “Deal.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yay! And by the way, you didn’t screw me. Not really. I stabbed you, so we’re even. I’m giving you another chance, Faith. Take it,” Buffy said. “Now, let’s go get breakfast. You didn’t eat last night. And by the way, Giles wants me to bring you over. Tomorrow though. Today is for you to rest.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At that, Faith tensed up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t worry. He’s not gonna try to lock you up or anything. It’s ok. I’ve convinced everyone to give you another shot. Even Willow. Although you mighta blown that one with the body-swapping thing. Oh yeah… Willow.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith grimaced a little. “Oops.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy gave a half-smile, kissed Faith on the cheek, and then headed downstairs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A few minutes later, Faith joined her in the kitchen. Joyce was at work, so they had the whole house to themselves.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you want? I can make...cereal? Or maybe eggs, but they might burn,” Buffy suggested</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith smiled a little from her position in the doorway. Her arms were defensively crossed over her chest, and she looked a little uneasy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s probably best if I don’t burn down the house. So I guess we should stick with cereal.”</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They spent the afternoon watching tv and cuddling. Buffy tried not to think too far into it. Faith just needed comfort, and she shouldn’t take advantage. Then again, they were going on a date, and clearly, they both had feelings for each other. So Buffy allowed herself to press small kisses into Faith’s hair every so often.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That night, Faith slept in Buffy’s room again. She was still feeling fragile and wasn’t quite ready to sleep alone. That, and the fact that they could cuddle. Because strong as she was, Faith still needed comfort, and she secretly loved the way Buffy would wrap her in her arms and hold her close, despite being the smaller of the two of them. Plus, Luna/Lucy used to sleep at Faith’s feet when she lived in her apartment, but then started sleeping at Buffy’s feet when she lived here. Now she could sleep at both of their feet at the same time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The next day, they were the first ones to get to Giles’ house.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Faith, Buffy, hello,” Giles greeted them when he answered the door.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith looked down, a bit ashamed. “Uh, G-ma- Giles, I’m sorry,” she said quietly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Giles stepped forward and gave her a hug, which took her by surprise. “It’s alright, Faith. Though thank you for apologizing. I was not a very good watcher to you. I do believe it’s not too late for you, so let’s do what we can to bring you back to the light.” He offered her a warm smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy and Faith sat down next to each other on the couch, when there was another knock on the door. This time it was Xander and Anya. Anya had started to come to more and more of the Scooby meetings, and though she and Faith had never met, she knew quite a bit about what had gone down last year.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Willow showed up last, and she brought Tara with her. Willow had asked her to come, mostly for emotional support, but also because it seemed about time that the rest of her friends met her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh, everyone, this is Tara,” Willow said, gesturing to the girl next to her. “Tara, um, you’ve met Buffy and Faith. That’s Giles, Xander, and Anya.” Willow pointed to each of them in turn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s lovely to meet you, Tara,” Giles welcomed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith hadn’t looked up from her lap since people started coming in, and her knee was now bouncing nervously. Buffy reached over and placed her hand on Faith’s jittery knee, which calmed her down instantly. Buffy then turned her hand palm up, offering for Faith to hold it. Faith tentatively took Buffy’s hand in her own and interlocked their fingers. The girls then made eye contact and smiled at each other.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This whole scene hadn’t gone unnoticed by Giles, who smiled to himself. The two slayers were truly better together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Willow also saw the small gesture, and though she hated to admit it, Buffy and Faith were really cute.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Now then,” Giles started, once everyone had sat down. “As you can all see, Faith is back. I know not all of you trust her completely, but I advise you to give her a chance. Faith doesn’t have a Watcher, and I know the Watcher’s Council is looking to rehabilitate her. Wesley was fired, as was I. But it’s unlikely that they will send Faith a new watcher anytime soon. I believe they are instead looking to take her to England.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Giles, no!” Buffy burst out. “She’s not going anywhere.” Buffy squeezed Faith’s hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, I was getting there, Buffy. Be patient.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry,” Buffy smiled apologetically.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I do think it’s best for Faith to remain here in Sunnydale. Although I no longer officially work for the Council, I plan to take it upon myself to guide Faith’s rehabilitation process. I will inform them that she is not rogue or dangerous and request that they send another watcher this way to assist me. Both Buffy and Faith will continue training with me, and if a new watcher is sent, they will help as well. Throughout this process, Faith is to stay with Buffy and Joyce.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ok, but what about the thing with Adam?” Xander asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Faith and I can patrol together. That way we'll probably find him eventually,” Buffy answered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And we’ll keep working on the plan to infiltrate the Initiative,” Willow chimed in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Noticing Faith’s confused look, Buffy explained. “So my psychology professor built some weird zombie monster thing that’s going around killing people. And it’s part of some secret government thing. You know, the usual.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Though that may be oversimplifying it, that is the basics of what has happened in the last few months,” Giles stated.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a bit more discussion about Faith’s training and the Initiative, the meeting began to wrap up. Willow pulled Buffy aside.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, I’m sorry about what I said the other day. I didn’t mean to say it, it just kinda burst out. And it’s not that I’m not cool with it, I mean, I’m dating Tara. It’s just that I still don’t trust Faith. But I trust you, and I get if you’re still mad. I just want you to know that I’m sorry. Not that that’ll do anything,” Willow rambled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait… you’re dating Tara?” Buffy asked, eyes wide.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Willow nodded slowly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good for you. Look, what you did wasn’t cool, but I’ll forgive you. Can you forgive Faith? You asked me before if maybe I wasn’t actually in love with her, just the idea of her. Well, I really am in love with her. She’s been having a hard time, and I’ve been helping her. I’d do anything to help her. And the other day, we kissed and it just felt so right. And we’re gonna go on a date. So if you’re happy with Tara, please let me and Faith be happy together?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Willow sighed. “I can’t promise to be her best friend or anything, but you two seem good for each other. You think nobody noticed you holding hands the entire meeting?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy blushed bright red. Then she smiled and hugged Willow. The two of them turned to see Tara sitting near Faith on the couch. She was speaking too quietly for Buffy and Willow to hear, but whatever she was saying was making Faith smile and blush a little.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy and Faith walked back to Buffy’s house, hand in hand. Faith didn’t know why, but the feel of Buffy’s hand in hers was reassuring and warm. She had never held hands before, never been a relationships kind of gal. But Buffy was different. Buffy was the one person who cared about her and never gave up on her, for no real reason. And the fact that they were on the fast track to an actual relationship, well, that kinda scared her. She’d hurt Buffy so much. And Buffy had hurt her so much in return. But that was before. Buffy had promised Faith that this could be a fresh start. And if she had one more chance, there was no way in hell she’d mess it up. She’d messed up enough. After what had happened last year, it seemed impossible for the two slayers to ever be friends again, much less anything more. But Buffy reached out her hand, and Faith took it. Both literally and figuratively. She’d only been up for a few days, but her world was so different than what it had been before. It was so much better than anything she could've ever imagined. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith squeezed Buffy’s hand as if making sure that it was still there. Buffy squeezed back and lightly stroked her thumb over Faith’s.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, is Saturday a good night for our date?” Buffy asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Saturday, that was just four days away. Faith thought back to her conversation with Tara. Tara had told her to “just go for it” with Buffy, whatever that meant. She had figured that the witch had been getting some gay vibes from her and Buffy during the meeting. Faith knew because she had been getting those same vibes from Tara and Willow. Yes, she was scared. But no, she wouldn’t lose what she and Buffy were starting because she was scared. So she took the girl’s advice. Go for it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That sounds good,” she finally said. She stopped walking. Buffy, still holding her hand, stopped walking too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘You ok?” Buffy asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. It’s just… B, I kinda… oh, screw this.” Faith had never been good with words. So instead, she pulled Buffy towards her. She placed one hand on her waist, and let go of Buffy’s hand, tangling the now free hand in Buffy’s hair. And then she kissed her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And the world faded away... </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not literally, but that’s what it felt like to Faith. Buffy responded instantly and kissed her back. She had one hand in her hair, and the other on her back, pulling her in closer. The two kissed slowly and longingly, yet it was fast and heated at the same time. Light kissing quickly turned into more passionate making out as their tongues explored each other’s mouths.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a few long minutes that felt all too short, Faith pulled away. She took one look at Buffy and giggled a bit. No, not giggled. Faith Lehane did not giggle. Buffy hadn’t made her that soft quite yet. But Buffy had dark lipstick smeared all over her mouth, and it was a pretty amusing sight.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy shyly wiped her hand across her mouth. She grinned like an idiot. She just couldn’t stop smiling. She reached over and grabbed Faith’s hand again, and the two of them walked the rest of the way home.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Almost as soon as they got inside, after making sure her mom wasn’t home, of course, Buffy pushed Faith up against the wall and kissed her hungrily.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith pushed right back, and the two slayers stumbled back onto the couch, Faith now on top. Buffy moved so that they were both now sitting up, Buffy on Faith’s lap. Buffy kissed Faith’s neck and jaw, and all around her mouth, before kissing her roughly on the mouth again. Faith’s lips trailed down Buffy’s neck, causing her to let out a soft moan. They kept kissing, memorizing each other’s mouths with their tongues, hands wandering.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They made out for what felt like only minutes but could’ve easily been hours. They only stopped when they heard a car pull into the driveway. Buffy jumped off of Faith’s lap and onto the other side of the couch. Both girls frantically straightened their clothes and wiped off Faith’s lipstick, which was smudged all over both their mouths and Buffy’s neck. Faith grabbed the remote and turned on the tv, just as Joyce walked through the door.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hi, girls!” Joyce greeted cheerfully. “So Faith, I hear you’re starting individual training with Giles tomorrow.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith just nodded, not quite trusting herself to speak yet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So I’m going to go whip up some dinner. You two can continue watching that very interesting looking nature documentary that you have on. I’ll call when it’s ready.” And with that, she wandered into the kitchen.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Really Faith? A nature documentary?” Buffy hissed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, it’s just what was on. I’m not gonna change the channel though, otherwise, it’ll seem like we don’t care about…” She glanced at the tv. “European squids…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy groaned and Faith just laughed.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That night, just when Faith was about to get into bed, Buffy knocked at the door of what was now her room. Buffy was smiling and holding something behind her back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Here. I would’ve given it to you yesterday, but…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith wrapped Buffy in a tight hug. Buffy had given Faith her crossbow back. She loved that crossbow. It was her favorite weapon, and though she had used it to shoot Angel, she had slain so many vamps with it. The crossbow had traveled with her from Boston and was easily her most treasured possession. She let go of Buffy and set the crossbow on top of the dresser.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t even know how to thank you. I just…” Faith smiled. If she wasn’t sure about Buffy’s feelings before, she was now. The other slayer had paid enough attention to know how much Faith treasured her crossbow and to go through the effort to return it to her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith hugged Buffy again and kissed her softly before letting go.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sleep tight, Faith.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Night, B.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy went back to her room, a smile on her face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith hadn’t been asleep for long when the nightmares started. Her and Buffy. In the alley. Faith staked the vampire. It didn’t turn to dust. Wasn’t a vampire. Blood. Blood on her hands. It wasn’t her own. Buffy screaming. A body. Dumping the body. Blood everywhere.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then Faith was standing in an open field. Green grass. Sunshine and blue skies. And then there was Buffy. Holding a knife. Faith’s knife. She moved closer. Faith moved back. And then the knife. Sliding in her stomach. Buffy’s shocked face. More blood.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith standing in front of a mirror. The mirror breaks. Shards everywhere. Blood. Blood on the floor. Blood on her hands. This time it’s her own. And Buffy’s concerned face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She woke up with a jolt. Just nightmares, she tried to tell herself. She was safe, she was fine. But she didn’t feel safe or fine. Faith got out of bed and began to pace.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She was interrupted by a light knock on the door. She opened it to see a tired-looking Buffy standing there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I couldn’t sleep. And then I heard you walking around,” Buffy explained.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh. I’m five by five. Just nightmares,” Faith shrugged.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy reached out to put a hand on Faith’s shoulder, and Faith didn’t shy away. It was different now. Buffy wouldn’t hurt her. Faith leaned into Buffy’s touch slightly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come to bed with me?” Buffy asked nervously. “It’s just, the past few nights, I slept better than I had in a long while, and, I dunno, I just like having you close. It makes me feel safer.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith blinked. And then she smiled. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, sleeping next to Buffy was the safest she’d felt in a long while. Maybe ever. And she was restless from the nightmare. So if sleeping next to Buffy was the logical best solution for both of them to get a good night’s rest, who was Faith to protest? And so she went back to Buffy’s room with her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two girls climbed into Buffy’s bed and cuddled next to each other, with the cat at the foot of the bed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, B?” Faith whispered after a minute.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hm?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“When I was in the coma, did you come and visit me?”.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Buffy blushed. “Every Saturday. I never had class, so I’d go and sit with you. I’d bring you flowers and just talk to you. The nurses knew me by name and everything. ”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I felt you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Whenever you were there, I swear I could feel it. I would hear your voice and feel your presence and that’s the only time I was relaxed when I was in that coma. When I could feel you.” And Faith meant that. Her coma was plagued with nightmares, but every so often, she felt Buffy, and it was all ok.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy snuggled closer, laying her head on Faith’s chest. “I feel you, too. That night, when I found you in the alley. I felt you, and that’s how I found you. That’s how I knew you’d wake up. I could feel it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you feel me now?” Faith whispered in her ear.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy smiled. “Yeah. You feel closer than ever.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So do you.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>By the time Buffy and Faith woke up, Joyce had already left for work.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a breakfast of cereal, Faith left to go start training with Giles, while Buffy went to class. That was the pattern for a few days. Buffy and Faith would eat breakfast together, sometimes with Joyce if she hadn’t left too early. Buffy would walk Faith to Giles’ for her training, then she would go to class. After Joyce had gone to bed, Faith would sneak into Buffy’s room, and they’d fall asleep together. Usually, there would be some kissing involved too.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Saturday was different though. Buffy didn’t have class. She still walked Faith over to Giles’ house. As soon as she got back, Buffy immediately called Willow. Her first date with Faith was tonight, and she needed help picking an outfit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Although Willow still wasn’t Faith’s biggest fan, Buffy seemed so excited about the date, and her excitement was contagious.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So we’re going out to dinner, and then patrolling. Nothing major, but I still wanna look nice. But I can’t look too nice, because we’ll be slaying,” Buffy explained. She held up two different shirts. One was a pretty white blouse, and the other was a tighter red shirt. ‘Which one?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think you’d look great in either of them, Buff,” Willow told her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s not helpful! Pick one!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ok, uh, white.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But what if it gets dirty?” Buffy rooted through her closet and pulled out a black backless top. “How about this one?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That would be good if you were going to the Bronze. Not for slaying though.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy nodded and put back the black top.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why exactly are you two going slaying again? That doesn’t exactly scream ‘romance’. More like ‘danger and violence’,” Willow commented.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, we haven’t been in a couple days. Actually, we only went once since Faith started staying with us. Besides, it’s more like a moonlit walk through the graveyard with some possible vampire side action,” Buffy shrugged. She pulled out another two shirts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Willow smiled. This was going to take a while, but she hadn’t seen Buffy this excited about anything in a long time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith’s training with Giles went better than she’d expected. The watcher really did seem to think she wasn’t too far gone. She had certainly been close to teetering off that edge, but Buffy had reeled her back. Faith was having trouble focusing on the meditation that Giles was having her try, simply because her thoughts were preoccupied with a certain blonde slayer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Faith, you seem rather distracted today. Might I ask what’s on your mind?” Giles said, interrupting her thoughts about her date later.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Eh, it’s nothin bad, just-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Buffy?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Noticing Faith’s suspicious look, Giles continued. “The two of you seem to have gotten rather close as of late.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. We’re going out later.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“On patrol? Or…?” Giles trailed off, leaving Faith to fill in the blank.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Christ, G-Man, what’d you hear?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not that I heard anything. Rather, I noticed.” Giles said with a smile. He was attempting to give Faith a push towards Buffy, now that he knew Buffy wanted to give the two of them a chance. All without betraying Buffy’s trust in him. Little did he know that Faith didn’t need a push in any way since she was already head over heels in love with her fellow slayer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re going on patrol,” Faith stated. She was unsure just how much to tell Giles. She and Buffy hadn’t talked about their relationship and what to tell the others. She was pretty sure that both Willow and Tara had some idea about what was going on, but Faith figured it was best not to say anything else until she had a chance to talk to Buffy about it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That evening, Buffy and Faith were each in their rooms getting ready for their date. Buffy was second-guessing the outfit that she and Willow had worked so hard to pick out, She examined herself in the mirror. She had wound up settling on the white blouse with a nice pair of jeans. She picked out a silver cross necklace and a matching silver bracelet for jewelry, and she pulled her hair back into a braid. But the one thing that she had forgotten to ask Willow about were her shoes! She was wearing a pretty pair of brown boots but was debating switching to something easier to run in, just in case they wound up having to run. But there was no more time to debate because there was a knock at her bedroom door. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She opened it to see Faith standing there, looking flawless, as usual. She wore a pair of tight leather pants, and a pretty maroon shirt, paired with a simple gold chain. She wore black lace-up boots, and her hair was down, falling gracefully over her shoulders. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You ready?” Faith asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy nodded and took her hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They left a note for Joyce, saying that they were going out, since she wasn’t back from work yet. It was only 6, and she wasn't supposed to be home until around 9, so she’d probably just figure that they were going slaying. It wasn’t a lie exactly, just not the full truth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So we’ve got maybe an hour until the sun is set, so I figured, since I asked you out for ribs, we could get some and bring them to the cemetery. Then we could walk around and do some slaying. Does that sound ok?” Buffy rambled nervously.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sounds perfect,” Faith grinned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>45 minutes later, they were sitting on the stone wall surrounding the cemetery, watching the sunset. They had finished all the food and luckily hadn’t been interrupted by any vampires yet. Buffy rested her head on Faith’s shoulder, and Faith had an arm around Buffy’s waist.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hm, pretty,” Faith muttered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The sunset? Yeah,” Buffy responded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No. You.” Faith groaned internally. That was the cheesiest thing she had ever said. Apparently, Buffy had worked her charm and softened Faith up pretty quickly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy smiled and blushed. “Aren’t you just a big softie? I knew it!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I blame you, B. I wouldn’t do this with anyone else.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two of them chatted for a while. Just getting to know each other a bit better. Buffy figured out that Faith’s birthday was in November, so she was 18 now. 10 months younger than Buffy. Eventually, they settled into a comfortable silence. A few minutes later though, Buffy had a pressing question on her mind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey Faith?” She asked nervously.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Yeah?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are we, um, dating? Or do you wanna be? I know you don’t really do relationships, but I thought maybe I’d ask,” Buffy stammered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You want that with me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy nodded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ok then. We can be girlfriends.” Faith was surprised at how natural this was with Buffy. She had never thought she would ever want to date someone, and yet here she was. With a girlfriend. And not just any girlfriend. Buffy Summers, the girl who she had been in love with for over a year now. “What do you wanna tell your friends? Cause when G-man was training with me earlier, he asked about you. I said we were going out tonight. On patrol. But he had this look in his eyes, ya know? Like he was trying to play matchmaker somehow.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At that, Buffy laughed so hard that she almost fell off the wall. “Oh my god,” she gasped between fits of laughter. “Giles was trying to set us up! He thought I couldn’t win you over on my own!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith shot Buffy a confused look.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy managed to stop laughing and catch her breath. “Ok,” she started. “So, the other day, before I came to find you, I went to talk to Giles. I was freaking out and I kinda told him that I’m in love with you. And he said he knew. And that we had something going on last year, too. This apparently took me until last summer to notice, but he saw it right away. But clearly, he thought I wouldn’t be good enough at wooing you, so I guess he tried to give you a push my way.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith was the one laughing now. “I didn’t need a push. I’ve been in love with you since the day I met you. And you actually didn’t notice all the flirting I was doing last year?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh my god, he said the same thing,” Buffy sighed. “Maybe I’m not so good at picking up hints. At least I realized later though! Or else who knows how long we would’ve been dancing around each other?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was just then that a vampire decided to interrupt. The slayers hopped off the wall and dusted him quickly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess that’s our sign to start patrolling,” Buffy commented.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a good few hours of patrol, Buffy and Faith began the walk back to Buffy’s house.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you mean what you said earlier?” Buffy asked, just as they were leaving the cemetery. “About being in love with me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They stopped walking. “Yeah,” Faith said softly. “I love you, Buffy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you, too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They both leaned in at the same time and kissed softly. Of course, they were both ridiculously horny from slaying, so the soft kissing quickly became heated.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy pulled back. “Are we moving too fast?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you think we are?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No. It feels right.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It feels right for me, too. And the way I see it, we’re making up for lost time. If only I had woken up last summer.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, you’re here now. And we’ve got lots of time to make up for.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With a smile, Buffy leaned in to kiss Faith again. It was passionate and electric. All tongue and heat and perfection. Buffy felt a warm feeling in her stomach. As she and Faith kissed, the feeling spread to her whole body. Faith pinned Buffy against the wall where they had been sitting earlier. She kissed down her neck while playing with the hem of her shirt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I want you, Faith,” Buffy breathed in her ear.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I want you too, B. All of you,” Faith said huskily. And the thing that surprised Faith, even more, was that it was true. She didn’t just want to sleep with Buffy and be done with it. She wanted to make love to her and love her in every way. She wanted to wake up next to Buffy in the mornings and fall asleep in her arms at night. She wanted to hold her hand, go on dates with her, comfort her when she’s sad, and all the other things that come with loving someone. And now Buffy was her girlfriend, so she could do just that. She wanted to be the person that Buffy deserved. And even if she wasn’t there yet, even if she might never be, she would work every single day to be worthy of Buffy’s love.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She now understood what Giles had told her. That she needed to want to change. She had to work for it. It wasn’t enough to just say she was going to change. She had to truly want it and make it happen. Well, she wanted it. She wanted Buffy and she wanted to be a better person for Buffy, and herself. So Faith decided right then and there, as she kissed her girlfriend in the moonlight, she was going to give this her all. She wasn’t going to hold back, she was going to go for it and give Buffy all she had. Even if she was possibly setting herself up for heartbreak. Because she wasn’t scared anymore.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They stayed out a bit longer, just making out under the stars. Eventually, they decided it was actually time to head home. It was a little past midnight, so they figured Joyce was safely asleep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Now, to end our first date, am I supposed to kiss you outside your front door?” Faith teased.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, it wouldn’t hurt, but we have been sleeping in the same bed. And we’re both still horny, so who knows if we’ll be able to keep our hands off of each other,” Buffy teased right back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith’s voice softened. “Is that what you want?” she asked, a genuine look of caring in her eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. If you’re ready?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith was admittedly a bit surprised. But even though by normal standards they were moving fast, both Buffy and Faith were slayers. They had no idea how long they had left in their short lives, so why waste it when you knew what you wanted? They had waited long enough for this already.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So instead of responding, Faith kissed Buffy. They kept kissing and giggling as they stumbled in the door and upstairs to Buffy’s bedroom. Faith locked the door behind them. As soon as she had, Buffy was practically on top of her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clothes were shed. But not ripped off. They took it slow, being gentle, not rough. Taking the time to get to know each other's bodies and really feel each other. It was different than anything Faith had ever felt. Every movement, every touch, every kiss, so full of love. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith had never really been loved before. Not like this. But even if either of them wanted to, there was no doubting what was between them. Buffy and Faith were in love, and there was no backing out. No running or hiding. Just the two of them against the world.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They lay side by side, bodies flush against each other, bare skin on bare skin. Faith traced lazy swirls on Buffy’s arm using her finger.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“B, I love you,” Faith said suddenly. Just because it felt right.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buffy looked her in the eyes. “I love you, too, Faith. Don’t ever doubt it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Faith smiled and kissed Buffy lightly on the lips. That kiss acted as a promise. A promise that whatever was coming, they would face it together. A promise that Faith wasn’t going to run and Buffy wasn’t going to shut her out. A promise that they’d be there for each other and support each other.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They both knew it wouldn’t be easy. Faith still had a while to go, but she wasn’t in danger of being lost to the darkness. Not anymore. Not since Buffy had brought her into the light. They both knew she’d make it though. They could feel it.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So that was the last proper chapter. I am going to add an epilogue type thing, just for fun!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter is based on a prompt I saw on Tumblr, so credit to kendo413 for the idea!<br/>This is also the last chapter in my first multichapter fic! I'm sorry if the characterization was a little off and stuff. But please do leave feedback and constructive criticism. I would greatly appreciate it!<br/>That being said, I hope you guys have enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it! And thank you for reading!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Joyce wasn’t stupid. She had no idea why both Buffy and Faith thought she was. She knew that the two of them had something going on pretty much since Buffy walked through the door three months ago with a recently woken Faith.</p><p> </p><p>Even before then, something was there. She knew that Buffy went to visit Faith every Saturday. Even though Buffy didn’t know that she knew. Willow had once come by asking if Buffy had been visiting on Saturdays. But Joyce hadn’t seen Buffy in a few months at that point. That was her first hint that something was up.</p><p> </p><p>The second was that there was a purchase of flowers on the bill every week. Every Saturday. Between the flowers and the disappearing, Joyce had a pretty good idea where it was that Buffy was going.</p><p> </p><p>Also the jacket. She knew for a fact that Buffy didn’t own any jackets like the one that she had been wearing every time Joyce had seen her. Every time since she “went to Willow’s” and showed up with a new jacket and a cat.</p><p> </p><p>And when Buffy showed up with Faith that day, that was all the confirmation that Joyce needed. She noticed the subtle way Buffy would reach out to touch Faith’s hand or shoulder. And that first night that Faith was here, she went upstairs to check on them. There was nobody in the guest room. She opened the door to Buffy’s room to see Buffy and Faith fast asleep, holding each other.</p><p> </p><p>Not to mention when she got home from work two days later. She knew there was no way the girls were watching a nature documentary, and she saw Faith turn on the tv as she walked in. Plus, she noticed both of their flushed faces and the traces of dark lipstick on Buffy’s jaw.</p><p> </p><p>Then there was the fact that when she went to work the next morning, the door to the guest room was open, and the room was empty. A peek into Buffy’s room revealed the girls together in Buffy’s bed again, cuddling and looking oh so peaceful.</p><p> </p><p>That night the girls were gone. They had left a note saying they were going out on patrol. But Joyce had gotten home at 6:30, which was much earlier than Buffy had ever gone on patrol. They had probably counted on her being home later. But by the time she went to bed, Buffy and Faith still weren’t back.</p><p> </p><p>And the next morning, the guest room was empty again. But this time, Buffy’s door was locked. And though she probably could, Joyce didn’t particularly want to pick the lock. She rolled her eyes, trying to pretend she had no idea what the two of them had been up to last night.</p><p> </p><p>It continued like this. Buffy and Faith would make a show of going to their separate rooms before bed. But every night, Joyce heard Faith sneak across the hall to Buffy’s room. And the nights she worked late at the gallery? She figured Faith didn’t bother going into the guest room at all. Yes, it was still the guest room. It would’ve been Faith’s room had she ever been bothered to sleep in there.</p><p> </p><p>But it left her wondering why, after several months, Buffy still hadn’t told her about her and Faith. It made sense for a while, given that it was new and all. But did they think Joyce still didn’t know? If they didn’t want to tell her, that was fine. But then they could at least be a bit more discreet about it so she could pretend she didn’t know. The two of them were so painfully obvious that Joyce couldn’t even fake obliviousness.</p><p> </p><p>When they did decide to tell her, she knew she wouldn’t try to make them sleep in separate rooms. She knew it wouldn’t work. And besides, they were really cute together. She would prefer they keep the door open though. And put their clothes back on after they did whatever it was they were doing. But Joyce elected not to think about what her daughter was doing with her not-so-secret girlfriend when they were alone.</p><p> </p><p>And though Buffy still hadn’t told Joyce about her relationship, she was happier than Joyce had seen her in a long time. Whenever Faith walked into the room, Buffy’s face would light up. Her daughter would look at the other girl as if she hung the stars. The two of them would look at each other and smile throughout tv time. They’d sit closer than was platonic, and sometimes Buffy would dare to rest her head on Faith’s shoulder, or hold her hand. Joyce would purposefully pretend not to see this.</p><p> </p><p>They would play footsie during dinner and kiss each other on the cheek when they thought nobody was looking. Faith would put a hand on Buffy’s shoulder whenever she was getting nervous about something. The two of them would go on patrol together and leave holding hands. They were constantly finding little excuses to touch each other. Whether it be fixing the other’s hair, or wiping imaginary dirt off their face. Buffy walked Faith to Giles’ house for training every day. Faith would be up first and have breakfast ready for Buffy when she came downstairs. Even if it was just pouring her a bowl of cereal. And though Faith couldn’t really help Buffy with her homework, she’d always sit and keep her company, often doing work of her own, since she only needed a handful more credits to get her high school diploma that she was working towards.</p><p> </p><p>Joyce would sometimes come home from work to see them cuddling kissing on the couch with the tv playing in the background, and she’d see them through the window as they tried to look normal when they heard her keys. It was funny really, how they thought they were getting away with all this. The two of them were the least subtle people Joyce had ever met.</p><p> </p><p>Which is why Joyce was relieved when Buffy and Faith walked into the living room one day holding hands. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Mom,” Buffy said nervously, “We have something to tell you. So you probably didn’t notice, but Faith and I have been-”</p><p> </p><p>Buffy was interrupted by Joyce laughing.</p>
  </div></div>
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